Train from hell...

Travelling by train is amazing....provided that

- the train is not falling apart
- the restrooms are clean
- your provodnista takes pride in her job
- there is a dining car and/or babuschkas are selling food on the platform
- the train does not stop every 5 minutes (stop means: no airco and no toilet 20 mins before, during and 20 minutes after stop)
- your compartment mates do not snore and last but not least
- the journey does not include a border crossing from Russia to Mongolia on a hot day

None of these conditions were met on the second part of the journey from Irkutsk, Russia to Ulanbaatar, Mongolia.

Everyone who took the train before, travel guides, locals and train attendants warn you, but you cannot be prepared for the ultraslow border crossing from Russia to Mongolia. The weather did not help.

Imagine...you arrive at the border early morning Moscow time, which is mid day local time (or vice versa, still do not master it). Temperature at that point around 30 degrees celsius. Russian border gards collect your passport after which you are allowed off the train for about 3 hours during which the Russian authorities are doing... hmm, what did they do, other than re-arranging the train as a result of which many carriages where nowhere to be found. Tip: take a picture of your carriage number before you leave the station.

While the carriage is heating up just fine in the sun at the hottest part of the day, so do its (naive) passengers by taking a hike in the (admitted, lovely) surroundings of the train station and ordering hot soup at a local lunch spot to kill some time.

Once back on the platform, the officials firmly direct everyone to get back on their carriage asap...as said, quite difficult if it is not there. Anyway, once you have managed to find your red hot steel cube on wheels, you are expected to wait inside for your passport....no airco, no toilets, no water, temperature around 50 degrees celsius, smelly and sweating travel companions debating whether or not to open the windows...awesome!

After having been checked out by the officials (diversity works well in Russia, mostly women with big hats) which arrive about two hours after you boarded the train (again, what have they been doing these three hours), sniffed at by the customs dog and answered "njet" to the question "do you carry any drugs or musical instruments", the train slowly starts moving to no-mans'-land. All passengers gather around on the upper berths, their faces as close to the ventilation system as possible to benefit from the 10 mins of airco during that ride. Still no toilets, although this is not our main issue....as a result of dehydration no one has to go.

By now it is dinner time...remember, no dining car and you are not allowed off the train to buy something, i.e. dinner of eekra (caviar) flavoured crisps, warm beer and twix fondue...

The customs and immigration process is repeated by the Mongolian officials checking at least three times whether it is really you on that passport picture. Too many staples from the US I 94's results in a fine (passport no good...).

And then finally....you get to get off the train for some fresh air....heaven?....uhm, nope. Once you step out, you - sweaty little treat as you are - are being attacked by a cloud of aggressive mosquitos that can take up to 98.5 % deet... All defeated, we surrender...back into the oven.

And then suddenly, while scratching your mosquito bites, you notice it.... the train starts moving! Back on the upper berths, faces close to the airco that slowly starts coughing out some fresh air, all passengers share a moment of laughter, joy and relief....We feel like we have been through war together. But we made it all to Mongolia!

And then the train slows down....the first of the many many stops until the final destination Ulan Baatar...no toilets, no airco...

Russia and Mongolia have a good diplomatic relations....Mongolia and China not so much...wonder how long that border crossing (which also includes a change of the bogies...The countries use different rail gauges, handy) is going to take!













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Location:Trans-Mongolian express from Irkutsk to Ulan Baatar, Mongolia